Friday, August 22, 2008

Hershey's Chocolate Marshmallow Kisses

Chocolate, why do you beckon me from the mocking aisle marked 'candy'? Why do your lowest-priced, inferior varieties tantalize me so? In my head, I think of how I would gladly pay a premium price for some quality chocolate, but in the end it's always the same. My latest trip to Acme lead me down the same dreaded aisle. Bags of two limited edition Hershey's kisses were reduced to a hard-to-beat $1.74, and I relented. My sugar-addled brain screamed, 'Should I buy two, three bags!?!?,' but luckily I settled for one.

Lucky indeed! I bought Hershey's limited edition Chocolate Marshmallow flavor. Since I didn't read the packaging closely, I assumed it was going to be a Hershey's kiss filled with sweet marshmallow creme. A s'more without the graham cracker, if you will.

Much to my horror, it was solid chocolate. Hershey's plain, waxy, artificial, doesn't-melt-in-your-mouth-right chocolate! But it does have a marshmallow flavoring added to the chocolate. Technically, the kiss tastes exactly as if it were a chocolate marshmallow concoction, but, since there's no visual evidence of chocolate, the entire confection comes off as exceedingly artificial. The added sweetness, and the marshmallow flavor itself, becomes cloying after just two kisses, and unfortunately, there are more than two in the bag. All in all, it's time for Hershey's to discontinue this limited edition.

What I Should Have Bought: Nothing! I should have just walked away!

An ode to buyer's remorse

You know how it goes. You're in the supermarket buying your toilet paper and other practical goods, and you happen to pass the candy aisle. Slowly you backtrack and think to yourself, 'I'll just see what they have available.' Soon you have a rogue candy bar or bag of sweets next to the bag of frozen peas. Or maybe your temptation isn't candy. Maybe it's ice cream, magazines, makeup, or dried fruit. Or any other sort of unnecessary product to which you feel drawn and is inevitably exchanged for your hard-earned money.

If you're like me, you're happy with your purchasing decision while you're still in the store, but by the time you get home and get around to opening the coveted item, buyer's remorse sets in. It takes a while for the full realization of the frivolity of some purchases to make an impact. Usually after you've searched fruitlessly in your wallet for a bit of change or gasped at a number on the scale. What's worse than buying something that is a waste of money and not good for you? Why, discovering that the product isn't what you were wishing for after all!

And that's What I Should Have Bought in a nutshell: a review blog for food (and other inessential wares) that are purchased in the rapture of consumerism. As I still struggle with not spending a few bucks here, a few there on these extraneous items, I figure I may as well get some value out of the experience by writing reviews of the many products that have fallen short of my expectations. Here's how this will work: I will review a food item, inevitably wishing that I hadn't spent the money on something I didn't enjoy, and then I will name something I wish I had spent the money on instead. I imagine my answer will usually be figs.